038 你知道什么笑话吗

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I couldn't wait to get started on my new invention

我迫不及待要开始我的新发明。

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I also couldn't wait to fix Oliver's bad attitude

我也迫不及待想纠正奥利弗的坏脾气。

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He was complaining about everything

他对什么都抱怨不停。

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" You should have an elevator in your building,"

“你们这栋楼应该装部电梯，”

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he said as we climbed the stairs to my apartment after the shoe store

从鞋店出来后，我们爬楼梯回公寓时他说道。

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" Or at least an escalator," he added

“要不至少也得有自动扶梯，”他补了一句。

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" Oliver is driving me crazy!" I thought

“奥利弗快把我逼疯了！”我心里想。

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" Whoever heard of an escalator in an apartment building?"

“谁听说过公寓楼里装自动扶梯的啊？”

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" Why are your radiators so loud?"

“你们的暖气怎么这么吵？”

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Oliver asked after we were inside our apartment

我们进了公寓后，奥利弗问道。

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" The heat at my house is really quiet."

“我家的暖气真的很安静。”

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Actually Oliver was right about that

其实奥利弗说得没错。

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Our radiators were banging and clanking louder than ever

我家的暖气片比以往更吵，砰砰当当响个不停。

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I figured I'd better start working on my Amazing Attitude Adjuster right away

我想我最好马上开始制作我的“惊人态度调整器”。

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But first I had to get Oliver to be quiet

但首先，我得让奥利弗安静下来。

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" Hey, Oliver, do you want to watch TV?" I asked

“嘿，奥利弗，你想看电视吗？”我问道。

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" I can turn it on for you."

“我可以帮你打开。”

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" Your TV is really small," said Oliver

“你的电视真小，”奥利弗说。

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" You need a new one."

“你需要一台新的。”

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" You need a new attitude!" I thought

“你才需要一个新态度！”我心里想。

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Even though our TV is small, Oliver finally settled down to watch cartoons

虽然我们的电视很小，奥利弗终于安心坐下来看动画片了。

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A few minutes later Molly brought me her toy telephone

几分钟后，莫莉把她的玩具电话拿来给我。

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I brought it into my room and started working on my dial-a-joke invention

我把它带进房间，开始捣鼓我的“拨打笑话”发明。

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At my desk I took out a pencil and a thick pad of paper

我在书桌前拿出铅笔和一沓厚纸。

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I had thought a lot about the way my invention was going to work

关于这项发明的运作方式，我已经想了很多。

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I'll tell you about that later

这个我之后再跟你们说。

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The most important thing was that the jokes had to be funny

最重要的是，笑话本身得有趣。

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They had to make people laugh so they would get a better attitude

笑话得逗人笑，这样人的态度才会变好。

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If someone had a really bad attitude, though, she or he might need a lot of jokes

不过，要是某人态度真的很差，那他（她）可能就需要很多笑话了。

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I decided I would need at least one-hundred jokes for Oliver

我决定，为了奥利弗，我至少需要一百个笑话。

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This was not going to be easy!

这可不是件容易的事！

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I went into my brother's room

我走进哥哥的房间。

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He was listening to music with his earphones

他正戴着耳机听音乐。

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" Tate!" I yelled loudly so he would hear me

“泰特！” 我大声喊道，好让他能听见我。

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" Do you know any more jokes?"

“你还知道别的笑话吗？”

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" What?" yelled Tate

“什么？” 泰特喊道。

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I yelled louder

我喊得更大声了。

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" I said, do you know any more jokes?"

“我说，你还知道别的笑话吗？”

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Tate took out his earphones

泰特摘下了耳机。

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" I know a great joke," he said

“我知道一个很棒的笑话，”他说。

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" What did the big fish do to his pesky little brother?"

"大鱼对它烦人的小弟弟做了什么？"

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" What?" I asked

"什么？"我问。

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Tate grinned." He told him to go jump in a lake!"

泰特咧嘴一笑。"他叫它跳湖里去！"

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That was Tate's way of telling me to stop bothering him

这是泰特在告诉我别再烦他了。

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But I added Tate's joke to my list anyway

但我还是把泰特的笑话加进了我的清单。

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Oliver was still watching TV

奥利弗还在看电视。

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I went into the kitchen

我走进厨房。

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My mom was sitting at the kitchen table reading a book

妈妈正坐在餐桌旁看书。

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" Mom, can I knock on apartment doors and ask people for jokes?" I asked

"妈妈，我能去敲邻居的门问他们要笑话吗？"我问。

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" Huh?" She looked up from her book in confusion

"啊？"她困惑地从书上抬起头。

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I repeated my request

我又说了一遍我的请求。

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" Okay," she said slowly

"好吧，"她慢慢地说。

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" But go with Molly, or Josh and Jenny, and stay in our apartment building."

"但要和莫莉，或者乔什和珍妮一起去，而且只能待在我们这栋楼里。"

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I knew all the neighbors in our building

我们楼里的邻居我都认识。

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But there were only ten apartments, including ours

但总共只有十户，包括我们家。

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We were going to have to work hard to get one-hundred jokes

我们得好好努力才能收集到一百个笑话。

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Well, ninety-nine, if you counted Tate's

嗯，如果把泰特的算上，还需要九十九个。

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I heard Oliver's TV show end

我听到奥利弗的电视节目播完了。

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Then Oliver shouted," I'm bored!

然后奥利弗喊道："我无聊死了！

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I don't have anything to do!"

我没事可做！"

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I pretended I hadn't heard him

我假装没听见。

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I opened the door and raced out of the apartment as fast as I could

我打开门，飞快地冲出公寓。

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I hated to admit it, but Tate was right

我不想承认，但泰特是对的。

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Being a big brother was much harder than being a little one

当哥哥比当弟弟难多了。

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Luckily, my Amazing Attitude Adjuster was going to fix that

幸好，我的神奇态度调整器会解决这个问题的。

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It was also going to get me into the Inventor's Hall of Fame!

它还会让我进入发明家名人堂！