038 吉尔伯特表白

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Anne and Gilbert were sitting under an apple tree in the orchard behind Patty's Place

安妮和吉尔伯特坐在帕蒂家后面果园里的一棵苹果树下。

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Anne looked as if she were going to cry. Gilbert's face was downcast, as he waited for her to speak

安妮看上去快要哭了。吉尔伯特垂头丧气，等着她开口。

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" I... can't be your wife," said Anne miserably

“我……不能做你的妻子，”安妮痛苦地说。

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" Oh, Gilbert... you... you've spoiled everything!" She dared not look at him

“哦，吉尔伯特……你……你把一切都毁了！”她不敢看他。

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" Don't you care for me at all?" Gilbert asked after a long pause

“你一点都不在乎我吗？”沉默了许久之后，吉尔伯特问道。

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" No, not in that way," Anne said in a low tone

“不，不是那种在乎，”安妮低声说。

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" I do care a great deal for you as a friend, but I don't love you, Gilbert."

“作为朋友，我非常在乎你，但我不爱你，吉尔伯特。”

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" But can't you give me some hope that you will... one day?" Gilbert asked

“但你能不能给我一点希望，也许有一天你会……”吉尔伯特问道。

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" No, I can't," said Anne desperately." I can never, never love you in that way, Gilbert

“不，我不能，”安妮绝望地说。“我永远、永远都不会那样爱你，吉尔伯特。

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I'm so sorry. Please don't speak about this again." Gilbert's face was pale

我非常抱歉。请别再提这件事了。”吉尔伯特的脸色苍白。

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Anne shuddered and looked away. There was nothing romantic about this proposal

安妮颤抖着，移开了视线。这场求婚毫无浪漫可言。

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Would she ever forget the crushed look on Gilbert's face?

她永远也忘不了吉尔伯特脸上那沮丧的神情吧？

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" Is there anybody else?" Gilbert asked at last

“你心里有别人了吗？”吉尔伯特终于问道。

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" No," said Anne quickly." I don't care for anyone like that — and I like you better than anybody else in the world

“没有，”安妮飞快地说。“我对谁都没有那种感觉——而且我喜欢你胜过世上任何人。

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We must keep on being friends. I love being friends with you, Gilbert!"

我们必须继续做朋友。吉尔伯特，我真的很喜欢和你做朋友！”

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Gilbert gave a small bitter laugh

吉尔伯特发出了一声小小的苦笑。

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" Friends! Your friendship can't satisfy me, Anne. I want your love," Gilbert said firmly

“朋友！你的友情无法让我满足，安妮。我想要的是你的爱。”吉尔伯特坚定地说。

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" I'm sorry. Forgive me, Gilbert," was all Anne could say

“对不起，原谅我，吉尔伯特。”安妮只能说出这句话。

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" There isn't anything to forgive," he said quietly

“没有什么需要原谅的。”他轻声说道。

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" There have been times when I thought you did love me

“曾经有好几次，我以为你确实是爱我的。

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I guess I've deceived myself, that's all. Good-bye, Anne."

我想是我自己骗了自己，仅此而已。再见，安妮。”

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Gilbert walked slowly away, leaving Anne sitting in the orchard alone

吉尔伯特慢慢地走了，留下安妮独自坐在果园里。

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As soon as Gilbert was out of sight, Anne ran inside, to her room, and lay on her bed, crying bitterly

吉尔伯特一消失在视线中，安妮就跑进屋里，回到自己的房间，趴在床上，伤心地哭了起来。

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She felt as if something very precious had gone out of her life

她觉得好像生命中某种非常珍贵的东西消失了。

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It was Gilbert's friendship, of course. Phil heard Anne's sobs and came in quickly

当然是和吉尔伯特的友谊。菲尔听到了安妮的哭声，很快走了进来。

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" What's the matter, sweetie?" asked Phil

“怎么了，亲爱的？”菲尔问道。

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Anne did not answer. She wished Phil were a thousand miles away

安妮没有回答。她真希望菲尔远在千里之外。

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" I suppose you've gone and refused Gilbert Blythe!" Phil exclaimed." You are an idiot, Anne Shirley!"

“我猜你肯定是拒绝了吉尔伯特·布莱斯！”菲尔喊道。“你真是个傻瓜，安妮·雪莉！”

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" Is it idiotic to refuse to marry a man I don't love?" asked Anne coldly

“拒绝嫁给一个我不爱的男人，就是傻吗？”安妮冷冷地问。

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" You don't know love when you see it," Phil insisted

“你看见了爱，却认不出来。”菲尔坚持说道。

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" You think love is a storybook romance with a mysterious handsome stranger!"

你认为爱情就是童话故事，要有一个神秘英俊的陌生人！

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" Phil," pleaded Anne," please leave me alone

“菲尔，”安妮恳求道，“请让我一个人待着。

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My world has fallen apart. I want to rebuild it."

我的世界崩塌了。我想重建它。”

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" You may have to do that without Gilbert in it now," said Phil, going out the door

“你可能不得不在没有吉尔伯特的情况下重建它了，”菲尔说着走出了门。

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A world without any Gilbert in it! Anne couldn't consider it

一个完全没有吉尔伯特的世界！安妮无法想象。

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Well, it was all Gilbert's fault! He had spoiled their friendship, Anne decided

好吧，这全是吉尔伯特的错！他毁掉了他们的友谊，安妮断定。

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She would just learn to live without it

她只能学会在没有这段友谊的情况下生活。

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The next day was a Saturday, and Phil insisted that Anne accompany her on a quick visit to Bolingbroke

第二天是周六，菲尔坚持要安妮陪她去波林布洛克走一趟短途旅行，

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which was Phil's hometown and the town where Anne was born

那儿是菲尔的老家，也是安妮出生的地方。

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Phil knew that Anne was badly shaken by Gilbert's proposal and hoped that the distraction of a weekend trip would make her feel better

菲尔知道安妮被吉尔伯特的求婚深深打击了，希望周末外出散心能让她感觉好一些。

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Anne enjoyed the dances, picnics, and dinners during her stay at Phil's lively family home, except in the moments when she thought about Gilbert

安妮住在菲尔热闹的家里时，很享受那些舞会、野餐和晚餐，只是想起吉尔伯特的时候除外。

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The happiest part of the weekend, though, was Anne's visit to her birthplace

不过，这个周末最快乐的部分，是安妮去探访了自己的出生地。

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In an out-of-the-way street, she saw the rundown little yellow house that she had so often dreamed about. Anne's eyes were filled with delight

在一条偏僻的街道上，她看到了那栋她经常梦到的破旧小黄房子。安妮的眼里充满了喜悦。

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She and Phil opened the gate, walked down the little path, and knocked on the front door

她和菲尔打开大门，沿着小径走进去，敲了敲前门。

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A very tall, thin, old lady answered

一位很高很瘦的老太太来应门。

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" Yes, the Shirleys lived here twenty years ago," she said in answer to Anne's question

“是的，雪莉一家二十年前住在这里，”她回答安妮的问题说。

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" They rented the house when I used to live down the street

“他们租这房子的时候，我还住在街那一头。

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I remember them. They both died of fever at once

我记得他们。他俩同时得热病死了。

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It was terribly sad because they left a baby; I guess it died long ago. It was a sickly thing."

“真是惨极了，因为他们还留下个婴儿；我猜那孩子早就死了。那婴儿体弱多病的。”

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" It didn't die," said Anne, smiling." I was that baby."

“那孩子没死，”安妮微笑着说，“我就是那个婴儿。”

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" Really? I don't believe it! Why, you've grown," exclaimed the woman, as if she were surprised that Anne was not still a baby

“真的吗？真不敢相信！哎呀，你都长这么大了，”老妇人惊呼，好像很惊讶安妮居然不是个小婴儿了。

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" Oh, yes," she continued." I see the resemblance now

“哦，对，”她继续说，“我现在看出你像谁了。

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Your father had red hair, but your eyes and your nose are like your mother's. They were both lovely people."

你父亲有一头红发，但你的眼睛和鼻子像你母亲。他们两个都是非常好的人。”

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" Could I have a look inside the house?" asked Anne eagerly

“我能进屋里看看吗？”安妮急切地问。

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" Yes, you can look around if you like," the old woman said." It won't take long."

“可以，你想看就看看吧，”老妇人说，“用不了多长时间。”

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Anne went up the narrow stairs and into the little bedroom

安妮走上狭窄的楼梯，进到那间小卧室里。

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So this was the room where she had been born... and where her mother had later died

原来这就是她出生的房间……也是后来她母亲去世的地方。

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Anne looked about her reverently; her eyes filled with tears

安妮满怀敬意地环顾四周，眼中噙满了泪水。

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Anne went back downstairs, and the old lady met her in the hall. She held out a dusty little packet tied with faded blue ribbon

安妮回到楼下，老妇人在门厅迎上她，递出一个满是灰尘、用褪了色的蓝丝带系着的小包。

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" Here's a bundle of old letters I found in that closet upstairs when I moved in

“这是我搬进来时在楼上那个壁橱里找到的一捆旧信。

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The name on the top letter is Bertha Willis, your mother's maiden name. I think you should take them."

最上面那封信上的名字是伯莎·威利斯，你母亲娘家的姓。我觉得你应该收下它们。”

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" Oh, thank you, thank you!" cried Anne, holding the packet tightly

“哦，谢谢您，谢谢您！”安妮紧紧攥着那捆信，叫了起来。

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" I don't have anything that belonged to my mother

“我没有一件属于我母亲的东西。

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I... I can never thank you enough."

我……我真是对你感激不尽。”

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Phil and Anne left the little yellow house, and caught the train back to Halifax

菲尔和安妮离开了那座黄色小房子，赶上了回哈利法克斯的火车。

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Throughout the journey Anne fingered the faded ribbon on the packet

整个旅途中，安妮一直用手指抚摸着小包上那条褪了色的丝带，

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but she waited until she was home at Patty's Place to read the precious letters

但她还是等回到了帕蒂小筑的家，才去读这些珍贵的信。

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There were not many of them, and some were written by her mother, others by her father

信不是很多，有些是她母亲写的，另一些是她父亲写的。

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They both wrote of how much they loved the other

他们两人都写到了是多么深爱着对方。

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In the sweetest letter, Anne's mother wrote proudly about her new baby, saying

在最动人的那封信里，安妮的母亲骄傲地写到了她新生的宝宝，她说：

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" I love her best when she's asleep and even more when she's awake."

“我最爱她睡着的时候，可她醒着的时候，我更爱她。”

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" This has been the most beautiful day of my life," Anne thought

“这是我生命中最美好的一天，”安妮心想。

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" I've found my mother and father. Those letters have made them real. I'm not an orphan anymore."

“我找到了我的母亲和父亲。这些信让他们变得真实了。我不再是个孤儿了。”